The Year Ahead
Are you waiting with baited breath? Are we excited yet? Well here goes what is expected for the year ahead!
I Love You (Leap Year)
Yes ladies chase your fella and pop the question. Its your big chance. Tell him how you really feel. I suggest you lure him in with lager, a nice juicy steak and dont give him a hard time when he`s been watching the match in the pub. There will be a lot of wiping of brows and sighs of `phew’! come the first of March.
God Save Us (The Queens Jubilee)
Ok yah. Bunting. Street parties. Another day off to help the already frail economy. Expect the usual commemorative dust collectors, plates, tea cloths and other memorabilia furring up the advertising pages of The Daily Mail. I think Pippa Middleton will be wearing gold hotpants and there will be lots of nervous security guards in black Range Rovers. See you outside in the street.
Salida (The Spanish Air Traffic Controllers strike)
Poor old Miguel will blow a fuse at yet another semi clad English hen do and the inevitable strike will ensue. Cue lots of sleeping on airport floors and Thomson reps getting threatened with murder. If its not this it will be `baggage handlers` (mmm we like you) or our friend the volcano with a name no one can remember.
Time to Shine (The Olympic Games and Paralympic Games)
What is called The Greatest Show On Earth will inevitably lead to major traffic chaos, and serious price hiking. I bet the price of Coca Cola will be out of the price range of most people. And Mars Bars.
Mad For It (Stone Roses come to Heaton Park, Manchester)
Lots of thirty somethings relive their youth by the return of the iconic band. Dig out your flares, practise your Manc walk, get your `E`s and paaaarty.
Wiff Waff (London Mayoral Election)
The eccentric ‘Bo- Jo’ the London Mayor with the unruly hair and a passion for pushbikes may be replaced if the vote goes against him. Extra points for filling your vote out in latin.
Eat My Goal (Euro 2012)
Lets get this straight, I love England, but we do seem to struggle a bit when it comes to kicking a ball about. The pubs will be busy, sales of Stella will be up, as well plasma tellies and mini fridges. Oh and don’t forget to show your solidarity by putting flags out of your upstairs windows and those fluttery ones from the back window of your Zafira.
Lights Out (Total Solar Eclipse)
Around mid November we can observe total darkness as we experience this phenomenon. I live in Lancashire where it might be difficult to tell the difference to be fair.
Goodnight. Thank You (Doomsday)
Apparently the end of the world is booked in for 21st December. I will let you know what time a bit closer to the event. I strongly suggest you keep paying your rents or mortgages just in case it doesn`t.
ENJOY!
Honest Mick.
